I can’t help it. When I think of the word sail, I think of this song… Or this one. But if we’re being technical I didn’t actually sail. Since I was on a cruise ship I guess the correct terminology is cruise. No cheesy song immediately springs to mind. Yet.

The ship we boarded was named Sun Princess, and here’s a fun fact for anyone over 40; the 1970’s/1980’s TV show ‘The Love Boat’ was actually filmed, in part, on that very ship. The ship catered for over 900 staff and almost 3000 passengers, and at 14 decks high (there is no deck 13, sailors are a superstitious lot) it felt like a floating apartment block! (Another fun fact; The Sun Princess is actually one of the oldest in the fleet and is being decommissioned next year, and is also markedly smaller than the newer models both already released and those yet to come. Incredible!) Since there is SO MUCH to cover I won’t go into everything, just touch on the highlights for the most part. Things to know; cash isn’t used on the ship. You put money onto your cabin card, which is a plastic card you wear around your neck on a lanyard, and use like a VISA card, and different colour cards dictate your level or class in the Princess Cruises universe; Blue are the noobs, Gold are on their 2nd+ cruise, Ruby, then Platinum, then Black. And all of this basically tells you at a glance which of your fellow passengers has the most cruises or cruise time (since you gain “points” the longer you cruise) under their belt. And there is always something to do, so no one can ever truly say they can be bored on a cruise ship. We attended trivia shows, game shows, watched movies, theatre productions, saw bands, went shopping, dined in 5 star restaurants, went to the library and internet café, and lay out sunbaking on a deckchair listening to the waves and watching dolphins… and yes, we saw dolphins on day 2 swimming right alongside the ship!

This cruise was my first and lasted 10 days in total. We sailed out of Sydney, Australia, at the same time that Tropical Cyclone Oma was expected to make landfall in Brisbane. By the time we got there 2 days later the cyclone had been downgraded to an ex-tropical cyclone, but the port of Brisbane was still closed so we couldn’t port, and instead stayed out at sea – and even earned a one-off payment of $76.00 from the cruise operator as a kind of apology for not making it to land; bonus! For riding Oma’s coat tails, the seas were notably choppy, and for me voyaging off on my first cruise the constant lurching and rocking was very noticeable, but not to the point I felt sick. My parents, whom bought me along on this merry jaunt and actually paid for it at a discounted rate (pay for 2 and the third person is cheaper), had been feeding anti-sea-sickness pills into me from the night before we boarded, and happily I can vouch I was never sea sick once during the entire cruise, despite the initial rough seas.

The main destination was of course The Great Barrier Reef just off the coast of Queensland, Australia. The entire reef is so long at over 2000 kilometers long and made up of so many smaller islands and reefs that you’d need a lot longer than 10 days to even see part of it; and due to conservation and such a lot are closed off to the public. Not that I minded at all, just seeing it in the flesh so to speak was amazing! On about day 4 of the cruise we arrived at Airlie Beach and were directed onto a catamaran (identical to the blue and white boat on the bottom right hand side of the above picture), and from there set off for the Whitsundays, about an hour and a half away. The waters on the channel right beside the barrier reef were incredibly choppy, and we were tossed about like rag dolls for part of it. I tried to think of that part as an adventure, but my mum wasn’t so enthused and buried her face in a towel for much of it. There’s a journey neither of us won’t forget in any hurry.

We arrived at a huge pontoon anchored to the sea floor at the aptly named Hardy Reef. Perhaps the only thing better than diving in Hardy Reef would have been diving on/in/through another Hardy (actor Tom Hardy, but we can’t have it all can we? Ah well, a girl can dream, and did… incessantly). Queue all the dirty jokes about Mr Hardy and the word ‘wet’… *ahem*

Our catamaran was docked for about half hour before we were joined by a second, and the pontoon went from bustling to choked in an instant. Since I’ve never snorkelled before either, I made one of those spur-of-the-moment decisions and decided right then to try. Right there. On a pontoon, an hour and a half from land, surrounded by 300 or so complete strangers, and my amused parents. My step-dad shared my enthusiasm and ran off to find a wetsuit as I did the same, leaving poor mum to sit alone just taking in the sights and eating her buffet lunch complete with fresh prawns from the top deck. I found myself an instructor, was bundled into a full-body wetsuit complete with a life-vest, Fluro-green flippers and snorkel, and rushed onto a little boat of some description along with 6 or so other strangers to speed off away from the pontoon. Maybe we were only 100 or so meters out, maybe a bit further, but from there we were let off (safety step off into the water where I first started guzzling) into a narrow corridor of water roped off for all snorkelers to swim. From there we zig-zagged back. And there was a lot of kicking, slapping, and swimming into and over the top of each other (often with no apology either, damn territorial snorkelers!) which was hard for a novice like me to get used to!

Thanks to so many humans crammed into a small space it was chaotic above water. But below was just… breathtakingly beautiful. My guide led me past so many different types of coral and fish that I couldn’t stop gasping or ‘wowing’. And learning not to swallow or snort sea water was a challenge too. I swam amidst all these brilliant coloured schools of fish, past very fine or branch-like, or plate-like, or brain-like coral, and waved my hand at massive clams bigger than my torso to watch them slam shut with the movement of water. And I was so awestruck I kept sticking my head forward/down too far and using that snorkel like a massive straw. In the end I swallowed and inhaled enough sea-water to drown a small Ethiopian village (not quite), but I had one hell of an experience. I even had my photo taken underwater amidst these blue and yellow fish… who all decided to feck off just outside of the frame the minute the camera was turned my way. But still, it was amazing. One of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences that probably stays with you forever. One thing I can say; no picture or video I’ve ever seen on the Barrier Reef does the real thing justice. It truly is amazing. Better than amazing. Jaw-dropping. Everyone on the planet should see it at least once. Maybe it might help the human race appreciate the natural beauty already around us, and help clean up the waterways if nothing else!

I probably should have been arrested at customs for smuggling sea water after inhaling and drinking so much of it, but it had another side effect that hit almost immediately: pneumonia. I became violently ill the following night and would remain so for the rest of the cruise. That wasn’t fun at all. Especially considering I was sharing a tiny room with 2 other people. I don’t know how anyone managed to get any sleep after that! The constant rocking of the ship probably had a lot to do with it. How do I explain the movement of a ship to someone who’s never been on a large one? It’s like being on a roller coaster. Those feelings you get when you move up a peak and drop down the other side; those, only less severe. You’re aware the ground is moving, and you’re not in control of it. Its those giddy gut, and gut-drop moments that you feel repeatedly day in and day out until it starts feeling normal, even relaxing. People jokingly told me would take days for me to get my land legs back after docking; it’s been 6 days home as of writing this and the feeling that the ground is moving, or more correctly my center of balance is shifting, still comes and goes even now. I giggle every now and then as I grip some non-moving surface. Maybe I’m still delirious. Proof it doesn’t take much to amuse me.

After leaving The Great Barrier Reef, we sailed north for Cairns, and after that the town of Port Douglas; the further-most point north I have ever been. It was hot, a stinging heat that didn’t require being in the sun for very long at all before skin started turning a brilliant blistered red, and very humid. It rained a lot up north, but that’s naturally due to being located close to the tropics. My parents and I took a leisurely paddle-boat tour down the Dixon inlet, a channel of water that leads off the sea, and spotted a baby crocodile too! (But sadly, no Daryl Dixon either. Wrong country, I believe *lol*) It, the croc, not imaginary redneck Daryl or zombies for that matter, was very small; the tour guide assumed it to be about a meter or so in length, by using length of distance between eyes and nostrils above the water. We found out later that it was the wrong time of day to see them, since crocs mostly come out at dawn or dusk. Can’t complain though, at least we saw one still in the wild, as it were. Another fun fact or two, since I’m full of them (and will likely forget over time, so reading this later will be a good reminder!); did you know 20% of all persons attacked by crocs are German? That explains why so many WARNING – CROC signs start with ACHTUNG! Also, to make a male croc the water temperature needs to be 31 degrees. Any other temp and you’ll get females, that’s why male crocs are rare in the wild or why females are far more common. There you go!

To get to Port Douglas from the ship and back again we took an even smaller boat than the catamaran, called a Tender (those little orange and white boats seen on the first and second pics of at the start of this rant). If the channel beside the Witsundays was bad, this one off Port Douglas was horrific! The waves were so bad we would ride one and smack down on the next with a jolt hard enough to throw us from our seats. And water was coming in from cracks in the hull meaning me and my stepdad got wet, considering we were in a covered-in boat. The waves didn’t even look that big, but looks, especially on this day, were very deceiving. Mum swore she’d never travel on one again. I have to agree, but maybe better judgement will be eroded over time and I’ll just seize the moment to et thrown about again. Glutton for punishment and all that.

Back on the ship, we left Port Douglas and headed to a small island called Willis Island. It’s basically a weather station out to see manned by staff in, I think, 6 month rotational shifts. There wasn’t much to see, which was good since I slept through the visit (we slowly cruised past in an hour and I saw the photos later on my mum’s iPad). Then we headed back out to sea en route for Sydney. With 3 or 4 days at sea, we did a lot of walking the ship. I took photos like some crazy possessed Japanese tourist (apologies to any Japanese tourists I offend, if you’re possessed you probably won’t mind the comparison 😉 ). Deck 5 is the “center” of the ship; a lot of glass and polished bronze, a waterfall, gardens, and café with ocean views. Musicians played here a lot, often classical music on cello, violin, or piano. I couldn’t help myself but quote that line out of Titanic most times I heard it ‘It’s been an honour playing with you gentlemen’ say the band members playing music as the ship sinks. And we laughed every time like schoolgirls. But take those stairs up one level and you were at the shopping boutiques; a jewelry store, perfume store, clothes store, and everything-else store (that sold everything from souvenirs to band aids to chocolate and booze). Go up another you were at the casino, and one more at world renown Chef Curtis Stone’s new restaurant called ‘Share’ (we never went there, it opened the night before our cruise ended). There were 2 glass elevators here that went 3 floors and afforded great views of all 3 (looking down at the Atrium). To go anywhere else on the Sun Princess, you caught one of the 8 (I think, don’t quote me) internal lifts that would take you floors 5-14, with 5 being the medical unit and lowest we could go (below still for staff), and deck 14 being the buffet restaurant Horizons with a 180 degree view of the ship below and ocean. And the food here, OMG, free, 5 star, and to die for! Did I mention they had cake? A lot of sweets, any time of day, and again all of it was free and restaurant quality. And the menu changed daily. Seriously, hats off to the chefs. Just try not to think of the amount of waste to come from that (and 3000 fussy passengers). Seriously, just think of the cakes. Truly, I miss them. And wandering up for a free cup of tea at midnight.

With so many passengers, there’s also a lot of rooms crammed over a few floors, and the corridors that connect them all are really reaaaaallly loooooooooooooooong! (For the record our room was about half way along in this picture and to the left). I made it my goal one day to stand at one end and try and take a photo of the other end when it was quiet. But the photo really doesn’t do it justice. It’s mind-blowingly long. And that’s just one side. There was a second corridor on the opposite side of the ship on this floor (deck 10), plus others still on 9 and 11. And if you think that’s nothing, walking around the ship 3 times = 1 mile or 1.6 kilometers. Considering the lifts were frequently full and it wasn’t uncommon to have shows on opposite sides of the ship, front and back (fore and aft?), we were walking many kilometres every. single. day. Without meaning to exercise. And we weren’t even part of the daily slue of energetic souls walking and running laps every morning and afternoon after meals, especially on deck 7, where one could get dizzy lazing in a deck chair counting laps as the fit people dashed past. Just watching them was exhausting!

The one place that perhaps best defines a cruise ship, and that I will probably miss the most, is this place; deck 12. That’s where the pools, hot tubs, bars, band, and movies under the stars were. There was also a New Zealand Ice creamery to the top right, and sports activity center to the top left behind the screen (And they must have known I was coming because they put on ‘Venom’ one night, which I got to enjoy out under the stars with my blanket and free pop corn). And behind those was the gym and Lotus clinic and spa. Trying to snag a deck chair to lay about in for the day was tough going; from first thing of a morning before breakfast (before 8:00am) you would find people already out here, reserving seats, and reclining in their swimmers with tanned leathery skin. And trying to secure one of the red padded deck chairs (under balconies, left and right behind blue deck chairs) was even more challenging. These were prime real estate with people remaining in them ALL DAY. They would read, sleep, or just lay there, since seeing the screen from the wings of the ship was almost impossible. But one thing I will definitely miss is having wait staff who wandered the deck waiting for someone to hold up a hand and order a drink to bring back to them. Just wave your card and you felt like royalty being waited on. Or they’d fetch you a free warm towel or blanket to use whenever you wanted. I’m not kidding, it really was lavish living out on the Lido deck, and of a night the bars (2 in all out here, one atop the other) that was where the cool kids hung out. Or just those looking to get plastered by the pool. Trying to swim day or night was a laborious affair due to the weather conditions. It was cordoned off often due to choppy seas. I really wanted to get in but alas my pneumonia wouldn’t let me. Good thing too, or I’d probably be in hospital by now. But still, not getting in is my one regret of the entire cruise. But next time, and oh yes there will be a next time now that I’ve tasted the fine life, I’m determined I will.

Anyway, that’s enough for now on my holiday (and no, in case you’re wondering, it didn’t turn out to be The Love Boat for me, unless we’re talking about my love affair with carbs! *lol*). I would definitely cruise again, especially knowing what I know now. It truly is like being in another world or a TV show where reality kind of takes a back seat for a while. There’s no phone calls or bills, no one unexpectedly dropping by, no need to go grocery shopping, or to go to work and be productive or have to watch the clock all day. You get to live a kind of fantasy for the duration, and believe me there are a lot of people on board who are clearly wealthy, and some who aren’t but just like to act the part. It’s very easy to get caught up in it all, which is probably part of the appeal. And with class or competition (on cruise time) rife, as well as staff always on hand 24/7 to do everything from feed to change your linen and wash and deliver your clean clothes, all while calling you Ma’am or Sir with a massive smile, it could probably become addictive too. While a great percentage of passengers on board were of the grey-haired-nomad variety, all ages were represented, including families with young kids, and young singles looking to party. I even saw one guy rocking a metal band tee shirt and a serious mullet! My biological father is looking at taking a cruise in the next 2 years to New Zealand, so maybe I’ll save up and tag along for another once-in-a-lifetime experience. I was considering a trip to the UK by then to visit a friend, but see which happens first. I haven’t been overseas in almost 20 years, so who knows. There’s a big wide world out there, sometimes it’s nice to plug back into it. But until then… *grudgingly goes back to real life*